Heroes

 It has been a long while since I have posted to this blog.  My focus was diverted from the blog to concentrate on some other life challenges but I plan to go forward with posting here.  Over the past two years I have struggled with my father’s cancer and eventual death from that disease.  I took time to care for my father and comfort him in the face of death.  I also managed to train for and achieve my Third Degree Black Belt while traveling through this life challenge.  I also have begun another chapter in my professional career.   I decided, after over nine years of service, to take a severance package from my employer.  The department I worked with was reorganized and relocated and I took the opportunity to move on.  I have just now begun a new chapter in my professional life with a new career in a new company.

I have been planning on writing a post for some time and a significant event prompted me to begin.  Many Martial Artists across the country knew Steve Lavallee.  On the morning of June 11^th 2012 he committed suicide.  It is a shocking event. We all may have skeletons in our closet.  Some closets are much darker than others.  Out of respect for Mr. Lavallee’s family I will not go over the turmoil surrounding this saddening outcome.  Instead I would like to turn this sad event into a reflection on how to live life.

How we deal with challenges that can threaten our way of life will define our true character, regardless of the public facade we create.  Walking through life is many times a very difficult adventure.  Adventure is the word we should use for life’s journey. Adventures teach us lessons and life should be lived as one long lesson.  On our adventure we should gather up the mementoes and cherish each event whether it is sad or joyous. We melt these things into our character.  Many stories and myths have the hero leave on an adventure full of challenges and obstacles.  The hero returns from the adventure reborn and enlightened.  We should all strive to be that hero.  

If our choice is to focus on negativity then the adventure becomes negative.  While sadness is often times viewed as negative let us challenge that perspective. Sadness should be embraced and experienced.  Let the tears fall but do not dwell there. Fighting sadness multiplies inside and prevents us from moving on. Sadness is like a boiling pot. Cover the pot and eventually the top will no longer hold the pressure.  The water will over boil and can extinguish our flame. If we uncover the pot and allow the steam to rise, the waters of sadness disappear into the steam.  What we have left is the memory of the boiling, a memory of the sadness.  We can look back at it without being consumed by it.  The energy of our sadness in the passing of a loved one can be turned towards a celebration of their life and lessons they gave us.  The sadness of betrayal can be turned to a lesson of how we ourselves should live to be trustworthy and never inflict that pain on others.  Sadness in the face of evil deeds and people should be turned to lessons on how to protect ourselves and others from evil and those who would do us harm.  The examples can come forth endlessly. Every negative encounter and experience can hold a positive energy.  It is our perspective and reaction that rescue us and find the positive. 

Forgiveness is another lesson we should take and embrace in life.  Forgiveness does not mean we condone evil behavior.  Forgiveness is about our ability to not be held captive by evil.  If we look to always embrace the hurt and pain we carry that on our shoulders it infects everything we do.  When we look for revenge or an apology that will never come, it darkens the mind with images of events that will never erase the reality of what has happened.  With forgiving we release the pain and let go of the control the evil and the evil doer have on us. Without forgiveness in our hearts evil and the evil people in our lives influence our everyday thoughts and actions.  Forgiving does not condone the evil acts.   Forgiving does not mean we allow evil ones to stay or come back into our lives.  Forgiving means we jettison the control evil’s influence has on us.  Malice in the heart towards any person evil or good only diminishes our character.  Do not allow yourself to be a victim of malice.  Become a survivor of evil.

Many times evil will hide behind the veil of trust.  Evil doers will present to the world greatness of character.  Whether this is an intention or not evil will use the good that they do to mask and conceal their evil deeds.  This takes many forms.  A business man or woman that speaks with motivational platitudes may very well be insidiously cheating and harming business associates for his or her own selfish gain.   People thought to be great leaders can easily hide their immoral and illegal doings.  We are all loath to believe that people we looked up to, counted on and may have even called a friend would betray our trust or the trust of many.  We, by placing people on pedestals make it difficult for victims of this darkness to come forward.  Often times a victim is looked at as a jealous rival or someone just looking to topple the royalty.  Victims that do come forward to challenge this false royalty are courageous warriors.  These victims are willing to stand up to the masses and the regime and know they face an army of ridicule and doubt.  We should never dismiss a cry for help.  Yes it could be false.  However if we see a drowning person we assume they should be rescued.  We should assume people crying for help deserved to be rescued even if it means rescuing them from a person we hold in high regard. We may love the water but we know it can kill.  We cannot allow the waters of friendship, respect, and love cloud our vision of victims that need to be rescued from the water.  

On our adventure and our journey we should remain the hero. Be a hero to those that need our help.  Heroic acts will take courage and we may face fires, obstacles and monsters.  We need to walk through the fires, go over the obstacles and slay the monsters.  There are obstacles of sadness.  There are fires of forgiveness. There are monsters of evil.   All these things take many forms.  They hide in places we never expect and will pounce on us in an instant.  We as Martial Artists train to protect ourselves our families and should be ready in an instant.  Protect yourself from all things in this world physical or otherwise.  Be prepared to always be the hero.  During your life adventure embrace, overcome, protect, rescue, and forgive. 

Marching On To a New Level

The journey to another level will never be easy. Progress is always full of challenge. Creating success happens when challenges are worked through, around, over, or chipped away at until resolved. I am realizing this again as I proceed forward in my journey to 3rd Degree Black Belt. I have never been a “natural” talent. My success has come from repetitive practice. Every step forward for me has meant repeating over and over again each Kata. I sometimes have to repeat a single move over and over and over until I have it down. I will practice the same sparring combinations for hours on end. I still, after twenty-seven years in the Martial Arts, practice basics in repetition several times a week. The hours of practice are what I need to do to overcome my challenge of lacking a talent in easily picking up new material.

Now here I am again learning something new. I have never worked with nunchucks. I am now learning two nunchuck Katas. The weapon handling for this new weapon is the most difficult part of the new Katas for me. I have gone back, again, to my roots of repetitive practice. The goal is to have all the weapon handling needed for the two Katas down in two weeks, and perfected in one month. So far I am ahead of schedule for this goal.

The lesson I am once again being reminded of is: the Journey is full of hard work. I have never been able to easily learn new material. Most people who see me now do not suspect I have no natural talent. Mr. Rick Iannuzzo knows this. He has trained or watched my training for the past twenty-seven years. What I have done is create my talent. I created it by practice, practice, and more practice. Never giving up is another thing that has made my success a reality. I actually failed my first Black Belt test. I worked hard and made it on the second try. I also failed one attempt at 2nd Degree. I never gave up though. I picked up where I left off and made it, although my second attempt at 2nd Degree Black Belt took a few years since that is also the same time I left Lavallee’s to train with my friend Mr. Iannuzzo. Sticking to a goal is what gets you there.

Also since picking up formal training again in 2007 I have had to learn an entirely revamped system. While Mr. Iannuzzo has left much of his original material, he has also added many new things. Almost all of the “old” Lavallee’s Kyu rank Katas have been removed from the system and replaced by Mr. I’s original Universal Katas. Mr. I has kept the Kenpo two man form. These new Katas were created and developed by Mr. Rick Iannuzzo and his late brother Jeff. Even the beginner Katas are dynamic and fun to perform. One Kata left in the system is Ki Chung which came from Ernie Reyes Jr. & Sr. If you are now in the Lavallee’s system you might still see the Iannuzzo brothers’ influence. The three kick combos, the Kumite forms and much more reflect their influence and creativity. I still practice the “old” Katas side by side with what I call the “new generation” Katas. I have managed to remember the old Katas through repetition. The advantage of creating my own talent through practice is in the repetition. I have repeated these Katas so much over time I will probably never forget how to do them. I am now doing the same with the new generation Katas.The real story here is how a person, like me, with only a modicum of athletic talent has made it to beyond even Black Belt. If I can do this anyone can. That is why I encourage everyone to consider getting involved in a Martial Art. Striving to become your best will enrich your life. Once you realize you can reach Black Belt you begin to realize that nothing can stand in your way. Regardless of age or athletic talent anyone can reach Black Belt as long they are dedicated, motivated, and on a quest to be your best.

Create your own personal Health Care Reform - move more.

Move More! Third Degree Journey 4/14/10

Today was a great day at the Dojo. I had some great sparring matches. I also had some matches where I did some coaching of novice students. It is so great to see the enthusiasm of people who are trying something new. I remember when I had some matches with Black Belts when I was coming up. I was always so scared! I now try to make people who have their first sparring class feel at ease. I think that is why the instructors usually have me work with people in their first few sparring classes. We did some great cal at the end of class too.

I also bought a bicycle today. I am going to use it for transportation to and from work. I will have a great workout. I will also save gas money, and help the environment. I would recommend this for anybody than can feasibly do it.

Create Your Own Personal Health Care Reform. Move More!

Failure Is Not Really Failure The Third Degree Journey 4/13/10

I Went to Black Belt Kata class today and made some great progress with the nunchucks. Thank you Mr. Nikko Iannuzzo. Learned that I need to spend some time on a bo Kata called BBC bo(Black Belt Club bo Kata). The BBC Kata is new for me but is a Kyu rank Kata in the new system. I have it down except that I am doing reverse butterflies where it should be just butterflies. Old habits die hard. Two man bo Kata went well I think I have shaken the rust off that one finally. Class was a great workout too. There was no running after class today. I will hit that up the next time there is one. I am still kick’n and heading in the right direction to Third Degree Black Belt. If this 50 year old 2nd Degree Black Belt can do this anyone can!

Failure is not really failure if you consider it a lesson - with this outlook forward movement will be your only movement.

In Memory of Jeff Iannuzzo

There is an old saying that says, “no one lives forever. “ However, many touch the lives and hearts of others and in that influence they live forever. Amongst us there sometimes walk immortals. These are our true heroes. They create in us a desire to become more, to become extra ordinary. They might be teachers, parents, coaches, co-workers, bosses, anyone even Karate instructors.

One of the most influential people I knew was a Karate instructor. He was one of my instructors, in fact one of the first. He was a performer and loved performing, earning him the nick name “hot dog”, sometimes we called him “dogger” or “dog” long before it was a colloquial expression. I was amazed the first time I saw him perform a Kata. It was 1984 and he was practicing a musical Kata to the Hawaii Five-O theme. Jeff Iannuzzo could throw a perfect round house kick or side kick vertically, looking like a perfect split position only he was standing. His Kata’s where similar to what we see performed at the top level tournaments and exhibitions of today. Mr. Iannuzzo’s Katas where perfect exhibitions of Karate and Martial arts. Each move was always precise, crisp and just perfect. From the moment I watched that 16 year old young man perform that Kata I wanted to be able to perform a Kata like that with kicks like that, even if I lacked the talent, I wanted to at least come as close as possible to that kind of performance. Twenty-six years later I am still working on that.

I was watching Mr. Iannuzzo be coached by Mr. Steve Lavallee who is now known as Kyoshi Steve Lavallee. I believe I was an orange belt at the time and still working on throwing a side kick above belt level. I was amazed that it was possible to move and put movements together like this young man was doing it. Today we see great performances on the tournament circuit, but to this day I have never witnessed the kind of energy and perfection in Martial Arts Jeff Iannuzzo had in his performance. There were more than difficult kicks and aerial demonstrations; there were precise correct Martial Arts movements, with the energy of a combat for survival. Watching “dogger” perform a Kata enabled a person to really see the raw essence of Martial Arts. I am privileged to have been influenced by these performances.

I also considered Jeff my friend, and now I am sad I will never have a chance to speak with him again. I am happy though to have his memory with me. Outside the Martial Arts he was far from perfect as are we all. However, he was a great person when he walked out of the Dojo too. Jeff’s energy filled a room like a moving wave of water. I know his art had this in it and that is why his performances were so inspiring. Mr. Iannuzzo was hot headed, he had a short fuse, he was impulsive, and sometimes he acted before he thought. However he was loyal, kind, inspiring, dedicated to his students, his art, and tied his whole personality together with his never ending humor.

Mr. I was a tough instructor, he demanded you give your best. I believe he demanded that from himself and that is why he demanded it from his students. His talent was magnified by his dedication. Rick Iannuzzo, Jeff’s brother, told me once that his brother would practice one kick, one movement, or one section of Kata for hours on end. I am convinced this is why his Katas were always outstanding. He did not sit back and depend solely on his talent he worked hard to make his performance perfect. I lack the talent that Mr. I had but I try giving this same dedication to my performance. It is also something to strive for in other life skills. Those who add to their talent with never ending enthusiasm will always be in the lead.

Jeff was also one of the fairest and giving Martial Artist I had the privilege of training with. There are stories enough to fill a novel about the “Adventures of Dogger”. There is one story that lights the way to how Mr. I really was as a person. I hope to tell it here in way that conveys just how great a man he was. It was at one of the many tournaments the Lavallee’s team attended. There was always a great buzz at these local tournaments, that in those days most students and the school as a team always attended. Competitors milled about getting ready for their events warming up, watching others. The Black Belt Kata competition was usually first. Many were standing along the sides of the gym watching the Black Belts perform. Mr. I was doing a spear Kata when the sharp tip of the weapon came loose flying off striking a young boy student from a competing school in the ankle. The child had to be taken to the hospital for stitches. I am not sure how or why, but the child was brought back to the tournament to watch. He never had his chance to compete that day. I know Jeff must have been crushed by the accident. He knew that the child would not be able to perform his Kata or get in the ring for a chance to win a trophy. Jeff went on to win Kata Grand Champion. He gave that trophy to the boy.

There are far more stories to tell about this Karate instructor. He was an adventurous individual. He always pushed the limits in everything. All of my friends, fellow students, and instructors that knew him have stories to tell. He always made us laugh, all the while pushing us to be great. Many of his students became great competitors too. Jenny Hughes was a great talent he coached to perfection, along with John Swistak and too many more to list.

The sad calling hours at his passing was a tribute to how he touched people. I arrived as they began. As I drove down the road past the funeral home I could already see a line of literally thousands of people with sad and blank faces. Most faces I recognized even if I did not remember all the names. Many I did remember as we all trained together for many years. I felt very sad that for many of us it had been years since we had been together. Now we had come together to morn the passing of our friend and Instructor. The thousands of friends, students, and family stood in line on a hot summer day to say goodbye, too soon, to the Last Dragon. A seemingly indestructible person was gone.

Inside the funeral home the line wove in and out of different rooms. As the line snaked around the rooms again I was able to see so many people Jeff had somehow touched. Students and Instructors from other schools we all competed with in the past were there. Black Belts that had not actively trained in years stood in line and talked about coming back. We shook hands and talked about the “old days” as the “new days” would now go on without our friend. I came to the end of that day’s long journey three hours, maybe, standing in line to say goodbye and to try to give some comfort to the family. I hugged Rick, and his mother and his father, and Jeff’s very good friend Scott Ogata and fellow Black Belt. I left with sadness, but also with determination that I would never again walk away from the Martial Arts. Thank you My Friend, my Instructor; you will always be an inspiration. You are truly “The Last Dragon”. You will also live forever, you are still in the hearts of all who were and are inspired by your life.

This post is dedicated to Mr. Jeff Iannuzzo January 25, 1968 – June 29, 2007.

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2007/06/tractortrailer_crash_near_scra.html

It is Your Attitude that Determines your Altitude.

I mostly blog about my experience in the Martial Arts but this post will be just a little different. In the Martial Arts we often talk about attitude. There is an old saying: your attitude will determine your altitude. In my life I have a person that is the perfect example of this. My most lovely wife, Donna, is one of the bravest and strongest people I know. Her story is a shinning example of how going forward and never giving up in the face of adversity is how to succeed.

My wife’s success in life was raising her son and simply surviving. She had obstacles that would have crushed the average person. Even her start in life was a challenge. She was raised by alcoholic parents who divorced. Her father left the seven children and her mother with nothing. They ended up living in places where they only had chairs and couches to sleep on. They often times had nothing or very little to eat. When her mother would leave for days on end Donna would stay home from school and take care of the younger children. This eventually led to her expulsion from school at the age of 16. Donna never gave up and eventually went back to start to earn her GED. She was never able to complete that goal and this tragedy is where her real life struggle began.

In 1971 Donna married her first husband. By 1973 she was pregnant with her first and what would be her only child. She had been working at Hoffman’s (making hot dogs, sausages etc.) She knew that she needed to improve her income to help support the child she was carrying. She applied for and was hired by a local insurance agency as a secretary by scoring higher than all other applicants on an employment test. They decided to pay for her GED schooling since this bright young woman showed exceptional promise. This is when tragedy struck.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving of 1973 when Donna was about 5 months pregnant she suffered a cerebral hemorrhage caused by an aneurysm. She had some signs something was going on but the symptoms were dismissed as part of the pregnancy and/or “morning sickness”. It was luck that her ex-husband decided this was not the case when she could no longer speak or walk. He took her to the hospital and by that time the only thing she could say was “baby”.

By a miracle, especially by 1970’s medical standards, Donna survived. Her case is even listed in medical books. Her survival was only the beginning of the miracle that became my wife’s life. The stroke’s damage was severe. Donna would never again be able to work. She could not finish her GED. She did try only to be frustrated by the reality she could no longer read or comprehend written words. She was also left with expressive aphasia and a seizure disorder. Her husband who had never paid the bills or balanced the check book failed to now pay the bills or take care of other household finances. He also started an affair. By 1976 they divorced. So here was a young woman left alone with a two year old baby, unable to work, unable to read, or effectively express herself struggling to get by. When most people complain about day to day challenges, this young lady forged ahead with her disability in tow, alone.

Donna also endured fights to keep her son with her. There were some people who decided she was not capable of bringing up her son. She fought these efforts and won. She had good family that helped her along the way too. She had friends that helped her relearn how to keep a check book and would help her when she needed it. Donna brought up her son kept a household on meager SSI means and did so very well. Donna’s disability also prevents her from holding a driver's license. Still, she managed to go get groceries, take her son and herself to the doctor when necessary. She took help from others when needed but for the most part her day to day needs were met by one person, herself.

The most amazing part of my wife’s story is her never ending laughter and smile and positive outlook. She always kept a positive communication open with her ex-husband for her son’s sake. She remained friends with her mother in-law, for her son’s sake. She enjoys life and brings smiles and brings a positive atmosphere to everyone she meets. With everything against her she moved forward never pausing to wallow in self pity and negative attitudes. With 15% of her brain missing she gives 200%. She sews and does cross stitch keeping in mind she cannot read.

I met her in 1990 and in 1991 I married her. She is still the most positive and driven person I know. Her strength shows like a bright light in the darkness. Here is a person that could have easily given up and used her life’s adversity as a justification for doing so. Instead she used fortitude and indomitable spirit to relearn life survival skills. When doctors suspected she would never walk again, she did walk. When they said she might never talk again, she spoke. When people declared she was not capable of raising her son she did raise him to be a fine young man and a wonderful father to his own children now.

Donna still shows her strength today. She is now also a breast cancer survivor. She faced that disease with the same positive attitude she applies to everything. When first diagnosed her biggest concern was who was going to babysit the grandchildren while she went through cancer treatments. She held my Mother’s hand when she faced breast cancer following the year after her own recovery. She now gives comfort to my Father as he faces terminal bladder cancer. My wife’s energy, smiles, and laughter is never ending. When I think of heroes in the world she ranks amongst the highest. More than a sports hero, or movie hero she is a real life hero.

A positive attitude is one of life’s most important tools. My spouse’s story is proof that with the proper attitude you can survive and thrive through what ever life throws into your path. You choose your attitude. Anyone can choose to “cave in” to challenges or stand up and face them. You can choose to climb over obstacles or give up and never recover from adversity. It is your attitude that determines your altitude.

Quest for Excellence

In the quest of excellence where do we begin? How do we define excellence? Excellence is sometimes measured by other people’s standards. However, the best place to find excellence is in our own self evaluation. The definition of excellence is how what you have achieved has improved you as a person. That improvement can only be determined by your own measurement. As Martial Artists we all strive for excellence. We each have traveled different life paths and many of us have traveled a different Martial Arts path. Our instructors, teachers, and fellow students will all have their own standard and in any reputable Martial Arts organization this standard is really just a personal starting point. Giving your own personal best is really at the heart of excellence and only you can know what that is. While achieving and working towards something only the person working towards that goal knows inside if they are pushing themselves to that level of self excellence. In any endeavor if we only do the minimum to reach a certain level we have not achieved anything if that level did not push us past our present capacity. Pushing yourself beyond the point you thought possible is the only way to grow. In setting our goals we need to determine if reaching that point will stretch us beyond where we are in that area of fitness, art, works, or life skill. Without growth there is no reason to pursue any goal. The purpose of setting goals and/or having dreams is to grow as a person in some area of life. Stretching and growing as a person, student, husband, wife, son, daughter and, so on is what makes life worthwhile. If we are not growing we are not living we are only existing.

Excellence and growth then are one in the same. To excel we must grow, to grow we must excel. That is why Martial Artists have an advantage. We strive to learn and grow in our art. It is a never ending road but it is not an aimless wandering road. Martial Arts give us a way to map our growth. We set our Martial Arts goals and this learning will almost automatically cross over into the other areas of life. There is an endless amount of learning that can be followed in the Martial Arts just like life. While moving forward in the Arts we also move forward in life. We see new opportunities in the Arts, which will lead us to also realize we can open new doors in our lives. The story of my own personal experience is a perfect example. The day before my 1st Degree Black Belt test, over twenty-one years ago, I lost my job. I was a young man who had never before faced the dilemma of losing a position. The confidence I gained on the road to Black Belt not only gave me courage to face my upcoming test regardless of my personal challenge, the training and knowledge gathered on that road gave me the tools needed to charge ahead and find new employment. In two weeks I found a new job and worked with that company for eleven years.

Our perspective of the Arts is different while we are white belts just as our perspective in life is different from when we were children. Our perspective of the Arts is also different as a newly christened Black Belt from that of a seasoned Black Belt. New Black Belts are energized and ready for the next step. When we begin in the Martial Arts we start with a “clean slate”. Our minds are open to the new adventure we have decided to undertake. This is similar to the open minds of children, who are ready and willing to learn. To stay energized and motivated in the Martial Arts we must keep the open mind of a white belt and the energy of someone who has just crossed that threshold to Black Belt. That willingness to start on a new journey and the willingness to stretch beyond our current success will keep you fresh. The crossover to life skills in keeping an open mind can only lead to life success. Keep your mind fresh like a child’s mind. Be willing to accept new ideas and explore new ways of approaching challenge. Regardless if that challenge is in your career, family or spiritual points on your wheel of life, keeping an open mind and keeping energized is the key to being successful and climbing the walls life will always place before you.

An open mind then, is essential for excellence. If we are not open to new ideas and ways of doing things we begin to stand still and fail to move forward. To grow we must continue to press on and move forward. Without forward momentum life’s challenges will ultimately start pushing us backwards. Since excellence and growth go hand in hand so is open mindedness an essential component in excellence. Also to move forward we need to stay energized since the forward momentum needed for excellence takes motivation and motivation takes energy.

Here then are keys to excellence: open mindedness, motivation, energy. The measurement of excellence is the improvement to your own level of success. An example of this can be seen in competitive running. If at 50 years old I would not expect my run times to be the same as when I was eighteen it is not realistic. However if I measure my progress against how well I do in my age class during a race then that is where I can see my progress. If I were to finish in the top 10% in one race and then improve to the top 5% then I have made progress and can say I have achieved excellence. In Martial Arts I can approach progress in a similar way. At 50 years old I can’t expect to achieve the same height in my flying side kick that I did when I tested for my Black Belt when I was 28 years old. I can expect to continue to improve my form and to keep fit enough to still be able to do a flying side kick. That then becomes my measurement for excellence and success.

Keeping on a journey of excellence will never be easy. It takes work. It takes an open mind, it takes energy and motivation. To maintain an open mind, energy and motivation it is essential to know how to measure excellence in ourselves. The only one who can measure excellence in yourself is you. Take a look at your strengths and improve on them. Take a look at your weakness and work to lessen their effect on your performance. Measure progress against what is realistic for you. If we keep these things in mind it will help a person succeed and achieve excellence that is necessary for a meaningful and fulfilling life. The Martial Arts gives people the tools to achieve excellence. It is often times referred to as Black Belt excellence. If you are not involved in the Martial Arts, consider it. If you have been in the Martial arts but wandered away come back. Excellence is waiting for you.