My stories as I remember them during my journey in the Martial Arts

Monday, March 22, 2010

Be A Black Belt In Your Personal Relationships

Our lives are usually full of busyness chores, schedules, appointments, work and business. As our minds fill with the daily clutter what is really important in life gets left behind. Often what is really important is completely forgotten, we work in our daily routines for so long and leave life’s most important gifts so far behind their light fades away to nothingness. Even as we go to church or worship in what ever way we do, the reasons for these reflective moments have long disappeared.

What is important in life then? What are we leaving behind? Our relationships with friends, family and loved ones are our most important gifts in life. Often times these relationships and connections are broken for the most trivial of reasons. We allow unimportant issues to become the most important and allow these things to stand between friendships and family. Excluding abusive crimes, or violence nothing is more important than the gift of love between us. One rude moment, or one forgotten promise, or other small hurt should never interfere with the love between family and friends. Often people allow profit or business to interfere with our relationships. These things should never rise to destroy our love. Money and profit will not enrich your soul the love of others will.

Life should be a gathering of love. The relationships we form with others are what enrich us. The other daily routines of life can be thought of as food and nourishment; these things are needed to keep us going but are not the things that enrich us as people. The kindness, love, caring and sharing of our lives is what fills a life with meaning.

The example of this is easily evident. How many celebrities are in the news with unhappy tales of lives spiraling out of control? Money, fame, possessions and business success failed to make them happy. What will make a soul soar are the gifts we receive from the people we love and love us. There is no monetary or status gain from these gifts and the person who is only concerned with these gains in life is missing the point of being in this world. Business, profit and other status gains by themselves are fine and noble pursuits. These pursuits only become a hindrance when they are allowed to sever the ties of family and friendships.

When the tragedies of life enter, the source of strength will come from those we love and God. Without the love and prayers and caring of people who love us difficult times will easily overwhelm even those who seem very strong to the outside world. Often our inner strength comes from our foundation of love.

There is a tie to Martial Arts and relationships. In Martial Arts we talk about excellence on many levels. We work on setting and achieving goals and balancing our lives. We want to be “Black Belts” in every aspect of life. Work to be a Black Belt in your personal relationships. Become a Black Belt in mending broken relationships and start now. Mend your “burned bridges”. Mend the hurts you might have caused others and forgive those who have hurt you. Do not wait for tomorrow to do this since sometimes tomorrow never comes. Be the Black Belt that stands up and says “I forgive you can we start over?” If you can do this and open your heart you will have passed the Black Belt test of love, friendship and Family. Without these in our lives all other accomplishments become worthless.

If we cannot mend relationships that have been broken over trivial things, like business dealings, misspoken words, forgotten promises and the other things that at the end of our lives will mean nothing, we have failed to have Black Belt excellence in the relationships we have forged. Achieve Black Belt Excellence as a friend and family member. Be the one who extends the “olive branch”. If reconciliation fails at least the effort was made to make amends. If the person we are trying reconcile with has a requirement that is necessary for settlement than provide it. Step up and discover what a Black Belt can really do.

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